Red Flags or Red Herrings? Listen to Your Gut

Red flags can change your life. They can even save your life. The trouble is that sometimes when they happen we ignore them, unsure as to their meaning. the truth is usually to discern which are red flags and which are red herrings. Here are a few guidelines to keep you out of trouble when a red flag appears in your love life.

What do you like or want? Too often, men end up with women who are polar opposites of themselves. If you like sports and a woman wants you home with her every night, you might be in for big trouble. This is a red flag to stay clear of.

Be yourself. It’s been said many times and many ways, but being yourself is the best determiner of who you will end up with. Make sure it’s a person who likes who you are and not someone who expects you to be something or someone else.

Chemistry check. Next time you are close to her, lean in. What does she do? If she also leans toward you, chances are good the chemistry is there. If she does nothing or, God forbid, steps away, it’s not there. Find someone else.

To kiss or not to kiss. Sometimes a woman will want to wait for two or three dates to kiss you. Unfortunately, we are not designed like that. We want to know right from the start where we stand and we want to kiss after only a short time. You want a kiss? Try. You have little to lose.

How do you handle crazy? Girls just want to have fun, goes the old song, but there comes a time when having fun and being crazy gets old. Just like guys, girls need to spread their wild oats, but if they don’t settle down after a while, part ways. Any woman who says “You can’t handle her” is probably right. Move on.

Never promise to call, especially if you don’t want to. If you tell her you will call her, do it, but if you don’t plan to, don’t say anything.

Get female input. There is an upside to having a female friend fix you up on a date: She knows her. Most women won’t fix a guy friend with a girl friend they don’t like and don’t think will work for them. You can play this to your advantage by asking them what they think of the girl you are seeing.

Be confident. Women consider confidence to be a real deal maker or breaker. They can sense it. If you are not confident, best work on it. It will pay great dividends down the road.

Go where you are comfortable. Wherever you end up taking her, make sure it makes you comfortable being there. If you’re not comfortable, she probably won’t be either.

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