A breakup can be one of the most difficult events in a person’s life. It can make the person feel inadequate, lonely, rejected, hopeless and a variety of additional feelings. However, jumping into a relationship right after a breakup is not advised. A person needs time to heal. If an individual does not take time to heal properly, he or she may end up getting into another poor relationship or, worse yet, destroying a relationship that had a significant amount of potential. The following are four questions a person should ask before resuming the dating scene after a breakup:
Do I Still Harbor Anger?
Many people who break up with their loved ones harbor anger against the person. Therefore, the anger question is the first question that one should ask. The remaining anger may come from an infidelity experience, or the person could be angry because the other party dumped him or her. The anger that the person harbors against the other person could end up coming out against an innocent person. Constructive therapy is a good way to rid oneself of lingering anger. No person should date while those poor feelings last.
Am I Sill In Pain?
Depression and hurtful resentment can last almost as long as the anger from a nasty breakup can. A person who is still in pain or pining over another person should never try to begin a new love relationship. Many new relationships end early because of the baggage that remains from a previous relationship. One should be sure to eliminate feelings of attachment for one party before he or she moves onto another party. Taking the time to go through the appropriate process will prevent another person from being hurt while he or she is trying to love an unavailable person.
Am I Content With Being Alone?
A man or a woman will have to learn to be content with being alone before he or she can date again. Too many people jump right into new relationships because of their need for instant gratification. Learning to be content with the self is one of the best ways to avoid new relationship disaster. Patience can lead a person to the right partner instead of a person who may use or abuse the individual.
How Long Is Long Enough?
There is no timeframe that fits everyone. One person might be ready to date after a six-month period, and another person may need several years to recuperate. The length of time that healing takes depends on the circumstances of the relationship and the person’s level of self-esteem. Taking at least six months to obtain therapy is probably the best idea. Additionally, the person will want to be leery of getting too involved with a new person until 90-120 days have passed in the relationships. Abusive people tend to hide their personalities in the beginning.
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