Whether you’ve known you were gay all your life but just had your first gay relationship or you recently came out of the closet and got dumped, breakups can be very difficult to overcome. On the heels of a breakup, memories of your beloved are likely swirling through your head and making your heart heavy. You want the pain to stop as quickly as possible. No matter your sexual preference, you are likely to experience a breakup at some point or another. Getting over heartbreak differs from person to person, but some trusted methods can help.

First of all, let your feelings out. Regardless of what anyone says, it’s totally appropriate and likely even warranted to cry after a breakup. If you don’t feel comfortable shedding tears in front of friends or family, you don’t have to. Take some time to yourself, spend it in bed or wherever you feel comfortable and can be alone, and cry it out. If people make stereotypical comments, ignore them. You are hurt, and a hurt person is allowed to express themselves.

Next, you want to pamper yourself. Whether pampering means trying a new hairdo, switching up your wardrobe, watching movies all day, or hitting the gym, it’s crucial that you take care of yourself. This will make you look more attractive to potential partners. You don’t necessarily have to think about dating yet; instead, just pamper yourself for you.

It’s also wise to remove anything that your ex gave to you or sent you. You should throw away love letters, text messages, cards, presents, and the like. If you’re not quite ready to trash this stuff yet, then hide it or give it to a friend who can hold on to it until you’re ready to let go. While you’re trying to recover from a breakup, you don’t need to look at reminders from your ex all the time.

You should also eventually open yourself up to spending time with your friends. They will want to support you through this upsetting time, especially if this is your first gay breakup. If you have other gay friends, now is the time when they can be your shoulder to cry on. Having gay breakup experience means that you can possibly help other friends of yours that may just be coming out of the closet. Go out to eat, hit up bars and flirt, paint the town red; whatever you normally do with your friends, you will need them as a distraction and to help you get back on your feet.

Once the sting of the relationship ending has subsided a bit, you may want to do some retracing about what caused the breakup. Gay relationships have extra pressures on them sometimes compared to straight relationships. If one partner is newly out, they may wonder how the world will perceive their boyfriend. Opinions from friends and family also plays a role. Consider whether or not these factors negatively influenced your relationship and could have contributed to your breakup. This allows you to look for a partner that is more comfortable with their sexuality in the future so that this does not cause issues again.


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