As the holidays come upon us, you may find yourself getting into the holiday spirit. The stores have started playing Christmas songs, the television has holiday movies going and it all comes to a screeching halt when you realize that you are going to have to deal with your in laws soon. Whether they are coming to your home or you are visiting with them, here are a few things to remember to make things a little bit easier to deal with.
Don’t Rehash Old Dirt
Now is not the time for a confrontation. If your spouse told you about a recent disagreement that she had with the family about you, let it ride for now. The holidays are all about being thankful and celebrating the season with the ones that you love. The truth of the matter is that your in laws are family. You guys have a very important person in common; your spouse. It is especially important to keep the peace if there are children involved. You don’t want to ruin their good time with a bunch of grown-ups bickering with each other.
Don’t Make Your Spouse Choose
The worse thing that you can do is to make your spouse choose between you and her family. Remember, they have been family for all of their life and so she is going to have a sense of loyalty to them. However, your spouse will also have a sense of comradery with you as well. Don’t make your spouse act as a referee between you and her family either. If you do this, you will also be shouldering some of the blame for a ruined holiday.
Remain Diplomatic at All Times
The key to getting through the holiday season when you have in laws that are not that fond of you is to remain diplomatic. If they are coming to your home, be a gracious host. If you are visiting, be the best guest ever. Don’t add any fuel to an already raging fire. More than likely, you have an ally somewhere within the family besides your spouse. Spend lots of time with your ally. Don’t feed in to any of the negative drama. If anyone tries to bring drama to you, simply dismiss it.
You are not going to be the only one that is on the edge and waiting for something to go wrong. This is especially true if there were previous years that the holidays did not go so well. Remember the reason for the season. Use this as an opportunity to bury the hatchets; even if it is temporarily. Your in laws will be on high alert. They will be waiting for you to do or say something for them to pounce on you about. Don’t give them the chance. Focus on what is truly important and enjoy yourself in the process.
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