“Beauty’s only skin deep.”

“Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

Sayings that we’ve all heard before but never put any stock in them. But why? Sometimes those old saying have a deeper meaning – one that you should listen to. Just because grandma is 90 years old now doesn’t mean she was always old fashioned. She was young once too. And she probably learned a thing or two about men back then that you would benefit from hearing. In short:

Pretty isn’t always better.

What does that mean? It can mean a lot of things to a lot of people, but one thing’s certain: if you are choosing your partner by the way he looks predominantly and, sometimes, solely you are making a mistake. Color fades long before the material breaks down. A car might have more than a few dents but purr like a kitten on the road. Understand? Ok, enough with the euphemisms. Let’s talk turkey.

Finding the right man for you is not easy. There are so many different attributes to find appealing or unappealing that it is hard to pin down a specific type. Here are some things to think about when you are looking for the right guy for you:

Know Yourself

Knowing who you are and what you want out of life is the most important aspect o being in a relationship. That may seem strange but it is true. If you don’t know what you like about yourself and about life how can you determine what you like in someone else? Take time to learn about yourself before looking for gratification in others.

Go Deep

Pretty. Handsome. Attractive. Whatever you want to call it – that isn’t the be all and end all of matchmaking. Sure, he might be attractive now, but what happens when the years go by? His physical attributes will change – it is inevitable because that is what aging does to both men and women. You may still be attracted to the older man but he will not look the same as the younger man. That change is easier to handle if there are other things that you like about him from the start.

Have something in Common

Whether it is a hobby, a type of music, an occupation, even a TV show you need to have something in common with the guy you plan to spend your life with. Without a common denominator it is easy to coexist and live separate lives. Staying connected is important to a successful relationship.

Get Out of the Bedroom

Romance and sexuality is important ion any relationship, however it can’t be the only thing you have in common. Like looks, sex changes as you get older. What was once possible may not be in later years. If you haven’t connected on other levels your relationship will suffer in the long run.

Get Inspired

If the person you are with doesn’t challenge your mind on some level, he is not the one for you. Your partner should engage you in some way, should challenge you to think about things in different ways. Without this intellectual stimulus relationships can grow boring and stagnant.

Define Pretty

What is good looking to you? Is it physical, emotional, a little bit of both? You have to know what you like to know what to look for.

If you can find these qualities all wrapped up behind a pretty face, you’ve hit the jackpot! Just don’t make the face the only thing you look for.