Fact…Love and Relationships are work! We view movies with two people overcoming obstacles, falling in love and living happily ever after. These movies are fictional.
When we meet this one person, instantly there is chemistry. We begin day-dreaming about this person, planning our futures around one moment of attraction, chemistry.
There is excitement those first few months, possibly, six to seven months later. The dates were fun, you have much in common. Your parents approve of your “life choice”, friends adore your choice, you love this person and this person loves you. With this; the relationship becomes serious. This is known as the “Honeymoon Phase”, (even before the wedding bells). You want to please your partner, they want to please you.
What can we do to keep “Love” and the “Relationship” stronger and moving forward?
Love or Lust?
Let’s face it, experts state that pheromones, an odor/bacteria produced by our bodies, can attract the ideal partner. Remember, a quick shower with soap and water can wash off that odor/bacteria. Love is a matter of the heart. So, decide, is this love or lust?
Okay, the next day (after the shower), this person smells great to you, their smell is irresistible and you are still attracted them. You decide, this is love.
Now the hard part…the “work”…the relationship itself.
Some believe loneliness is reason enough to seek companionship or that “life partner”. Is it? Do you want companionship twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, for a total of 365 days a year? You decide “Yes”…
With love and the relationship established, now what? This is a lot more difficult than it sounds.
How are you at compromising? Your partners’ idea of a fun night is partying with friends or entertaining guest, where yours is watching a movie and relaxing. Learn to compromise…
Can you empathize, understand your partners’ wants and needs? It is, after all, no longer about “you”, but, about “us”. Learning to think of another person before yourself is a requirement. (Do not lose yourself, that’s not what is suggested here, “Me…is an important part of any relationship).
Can you give AND receive? The giving part can sometimes seem difficult, but what about receiving? We want to be givers, we want to be the nurturer, learning to receive can be just as hard. Graciously accept, and say “thank you”…
What about Passion? Passion, does not necessarily imply “sex”. Passion is to give all, with all you’ve got. Whether it is a touching of the hand, a smile, a compliment or a warm embrace.
If you can distinguish between love and lust, relationship or companionship… You may have found the key to a long, lasting, successful relationship…
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