You may want to involve your older children in your wedding somehow, but you may not know how to do it without it being awkward. Flower girl and ring bearer are out, so what to do? Here are a few roles that you can give older kids who may want to participate in your wedding ceremony.

Greeting/Ushering the Guests

Older children can greet guests as well as show them to their seats, so that they are able to meet their future family members. The guests, which will include the bride’s and groom’s families, will be happy to meet newlyweds’ children as well. This way, the older child can participate directly in the ceremony and get to know those who will be joining the family.

Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor/Groomsman/Best Man

Older girls can be bridesmaids or possibly a maid of honor. They can help plan the wedding and reception, as well as help the bride out on the day of the ceremony. During the ceremony, the bridesmaids will either follow or lead the bride to the altar and stand on the side of the bride, holding bouquets. The older bridesmaids can also serve as witnesses to the signing of the marriage license. Older boys can be groomsmen or the best man. Groomsmen will assist the groom with the planning stages, help the groom dress and offer as emotional support. Groomsmen can also serve as ushers if need be. On the day of the wedding, the groomsmen will come in and stand on the side of the groom. The best man will be the groom’s personal assistant and emotional support and will drive him to the wedding, as well as properly secure his and the groomsmen’s boutonnieres. The best man comes in with the groom, entering just in front of him and behind the priest on the day of the ceremony. These are the most pivotal roles in which you can involve your older children, as groomsmen and bridesmaids help quite a bit.

Planning and Decoration

Your older kids may want to work behind the scenes for the wedding instead of in the middle of the action. Children can assist in ordering flowers, hanging decorations, helping the bride pick out a dress, and the groom pick out a tuxedo, as well as helping decide on a venue for the wedding. Someone will also need to prepare invitations to send out as well and choose a cake. A lot goes into a wedding, so this role may be better suited for an older child who would rather be involved in the planning stages.

There are plenty of ways to incorporate older children into a wedding, provided they want to be part of the big day. The cute little children throwing the flowers and carrying the rings are often the focus, but older kids can contribute quite a bit as well. Consider the above options when deciding how your older children can help with your big day.


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